I tried EMDR therapy…and I liked it

So my daughter has been seeing a new therapist recently and we had the next session booked when we realized that she had a hockey game. So when I told the therapist that we would have to cancel it, my daughter interrupted, saying that her dad could take her. So I told the therapist we would keep it for me.

So I didn’t know much about EMDR therapy. I read up a little about it. I read that it can be very helpful in dealing with PTSD.

Now I’m not sure if different therapists use different methods of doing EMDR so I won’t go into specifics but will say that I was really impressed with how it got me thinking. It helped me to release some guilt that I was feeling and to understand why I was feeling the way I felt.

It took a while to fully relax when I was doing this. Don’t go in to an appointment thinking that one session will “fix” you or your child. But you do have to relax and not force any thoughts or feelings.

At the following appointment with our therapist, she did EMDR with my daughter. It was really amazing to see my daughter do this. She wanted me to be in the room with her. Just the one session seemed to help her understand things a bit more clearly.

My poor daughter had a horrible panic attack at her second hockey game today. She was hyperventilating and crying and one of her “coaches” told her to stop crying crocodile tears.

It must be nice to be stoic all the time. To have a daughter on the team who shows very little emotion. To have been a pretty good hockey player in their time. To never cry or show emotion when they played. To never have a panic attack or have depression or anxiety.

I am truly sickened when I watch my daughter play on her high school hockey team this year. To have a coach whose favourite players are the “perfect” ones. The ones who don’t have anxiety or depression. The ones who have never had something horrible happen to them. The ones who show little emotion and everything runs off their backs. But to make it even worse, these favourite players can get numerous penalties in games without being ostracized and called out. They can show up late to a practice without being scolded. The coach claps when they get goals. You know it’s bad when another mother calls you because her daughter was so upset because your daughter got called out and embarrassed for a penalty she got while stopping the puck from going into her net.

I truly do not think that any of these “coaches” have any experience or knowledge about mental health issues. Yes they are volunteers, but there are lots of courses out there for coaches.

As the parent of a student athlete, I have always admired the volunteer coaches. I have always thanked them, bought them coffee, made sure they got gifts from the players. I have volunteered myself to be treasurer, manager, time keeper, den mother. But these volunteers can have a huge impact on our children. These volunteer coaches can be part of the reason a player goes on to play professionally. They can be part of the reason a player improves and excels and maybe gets a university scholarship. But these volunteer coaches can be part of the reason a player stops playing or stops enjoying a game they once loved. These volunteer coaches can squash a player’s enthusiasm, make them feel worthless and make anxiety and depression so much worse.

I might have to contact the school after the weekend to inquire about any requirements or courses the volunteer coaches need.