Don’t worry. I’m not talking about hard drugs. Just cannabis edibles. I just realized that I enjoy hanging with my elderly mom and doing things for her way more when I am under the influence of a little cannabis. Like today, for instance, I finished up on the excavator and headed over to her place with some special shoes I had purchased for her online. They are the Skechers that are easy to slip on her feet. What an awesome idea! Shoes made specifically for slipping into them.
Or maybe I was more relaxed because I knew I could take my time and I didn’t have to worry about rushing home to my husband, daughter and crazy dog.
It’s funny how up until my 18 year old son graduated from high school, he was my biggest concern. Pushing him to study, to do homework, making sure both kids weren’t home alone together because they would argue and fight. Making sure I was always in the same room as both of them because something bad would almost always happen. My son would want my daughter to play video games with him. She would say no, he would call her a fu$&ing bitch. Then she would get mad at him and he would escalate, things might get thrown, items might get damaged, and usually there would be tears.
Now, he seems to have matured (knock on wood) and I can enjoy him more. But also now, my daughter seems way more needy. So sensitive and lashing out. In a bad mood, always has a headache when I’m trying to help her with homework. But finally she has agreed to see a psychologist. A private one who costs $175 per hour. But after the second session, she said she really learned something. It’s where when you are about to freak out, cry or have a panic attack, you look around and name 5 things you can see. Then 5 things you can feel. Etc. And she actually used this at one of her last hockey games when she was about to cry. And it worked for her.
She had gone to a few social workers and psychologists through public mental health a few years back but didn’t connect with them. There was no change in anything after months of appointments. I actually found this private psychologist through the private psychologist we found for my son. He had been going to the same public mental health social worker for almost 2 years, with no improvement at all. And I was relieved when he finally admitted that my son’s issues were beyond his scope of practice. I did research and found this guy online. Again we had to pay out of pocket but we were fortunate to be able to afford it (while adjusting our budget) and you can’t really put a price on mental health. After a handful of appointments with this guy, my son came out of the appointment and hugged me and thanked me for finding this psychologist. He told me that he had cried and hugged this guy and thanked him because he was actually able to admit that he was in the wrong about a number of things.
I must go eat dinner and make my “to do” list for tomorrow.